Meeting a man online can be a little nerve racking when you have child. What if he has 4 felonies, lives in the ghetto, and has a history of child abuse? It’s easy to hide who you really are online. A convicted bank robber could sign-up for a dating site and claim to be a real heartthrob that’s as sweet as pie. The disgusting this is there actually are psycho’s online that are hard to distinguish. Do I have you scared? Don’t be! You have absolutely nothing to worry about as long as you follow these 5 rules…
Rule #1: If he can’t prove who he says he is, he can’t date you.
Never, and I repeat, NEVER give out your cell phone number, full name, address, etc. to anyone until they’ve provided their personal information to you. If a guy won’t abide by this rule, he’s not worth your time and probably has something to hide. You have children at home and should never put you or them at risk. You don’t know who you are talking to online. He may be a Saint or he may be the Grim Reaper. Either way, you’ll be known as “sweetiepie57” (or whatever moniker you use) until he provides you with his personal information.
Rule #2: You won’t meet him if you find out he has any felonies, misdemeanors, has alcohol or drug issues, is a degenerate gambler, or doesn’t treat his grandmother with respect.
Basically, if he comes with baggage, let him be someone else’s problem. Do some major research on this guy. Use the Internet to Google his name. Most state government websites have free criminal and civil case searches. I’m not suggesting you nitpick at his silly driving offenses (i.e. speeding tickets). But felonies, drug possession charges, etc. – he can’t have any of those. I would even suggest looking him up on Facebook or other Social Networking sites. Find out as much info about him as you can. If his profiles aren’t listed as private, you will be able to read his status updates, view his pictures, and see his interests. This will give you an idea of whether or not he is the type of person he’s portrayed to you.
Rule #3: Confront him in a friendly manner about certain things you find on his public records.
I need to caution you a bit here. If you found something questionable on his record and want to hear his side of the story, be careful how you confront him about it. Don’t be rude or confrontational. This will anger him (with good reason). There’s always two sides to a story and should you find something questionable on his record, don’t be rude about it. Just say something like, “hey, I saw that you are facing a couple of lawsuits. It’s not a big deal to me, I just wondered how this was affecting you? ” Smiley face to ensure him you’re not being rude. With a question like this, you’re encouraging him to explain what’s going on with his lawsuits without angering him. He likely won’t tell you all of the details, but I bet he gives away the necessary information you need to know.
I don’t care if this guy is 6’4, muscular, and has baby blue eyes. Look beyond his physical beauty and make sure he’s just as attractive inside. Far too many single parents forget to check out his rap sheet after checking out his bod. Then they end up dating a psycho and potentially putting their child at risk. He either proves to you that he is the type of guy he’s portraying himself to be online or he doesn’t get a date with you. And don’t feel bad about snooping around trying to find information on him. It’s better to be safe than sorry.