He knows how to put a smile on your face. You’re mesmerized by his wit, charm, good looks, and intelligence. It’s nearly impossible to say no to this guy. Single mothers fall for men like this all the time. How could they not? He appears to be the perfect man. So when he starts promising marriage or a long-term relationship shortly after meeting him, it’s only natural to feel delighted. The perfect man wants to be with you and he’s even talking marriage. It’s your lucky day. Or is it?
You Barely Know Each Other and Are Already Talking Marriage
This isn’t exclusive to men. Women often start talking marriage or long-term relationships early on. It’s always nice to have someone offer to commit to you long-term. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and special. If you’ve recently gotten out of a bad relationship or haven’t been with anyone for a long time, you’re probably desperate for companionship.
There’s nothing wrong with being desperate for affection. It’s perfectly normal for a single parent to go through periods of loneliness. We all want to find that special someone, especially because we don’t want our kids to have to grow up in a one-parent home. However, you cannot allow your emotions to get the best of you, whether you’re male or female. Discussions about marriage should never begin early on in a relationship. Any talks of commitment should cease to exist early on.
Why should you avoid dating someone that is talking long-term relationship and/or marriage early on? Because that person likely fits into one of the following categories and will end up making your life miserable:
- Desperate. He/she has been single for too long or is trying to get over a bad past relationship. It’s hard to get over someone until you meet someone new. They’re not so much interested in you as they are interested in the thought of being with someone.
- Emotional Train Wreck. This type of person falls hard for the first person that gives them any attention. They’re either inexperienced with relationships or have a history of going through bad relationships due to their lack of emotional stability. We’re not Psychiatrist’s, but we can easily spot an emotional train wreck. They are beyond desperate and will go for ANYONE. If you have a pulse and ask them out, they’ll drop everything they’re doing to go out with you. And even if you don’t have a pulse, they still probably will.
- Seeking Comfort. They’re not necessarily emotionally weak. They simply seek comfort because it makes them feel secure. By getting someone to commit long-term to them, they feel like their life is now complete. Here’s the problem – down the road, they won’t seek comfort from you. They’ll end up realizing that you’re not a good Match.com and that you shouldn’t have rushed into things. Now you’re either going to have to deal with another rough break-up or, even worse, having to go through a divorce.
The problem many single parents have is they too desperately want to find a lover. We completely understand that are certainly don’t think less of you because of it. Heck, we’ve been in your shoes before. We’ve patiently waited to complete our families with someone that can help take care of our kids and give us the affection we desire. You’re not alone. But as we have learned (mostly the hard way), no long-term commitments should EVER be made until you and your children are comfortable with the person you’re dating.
What happens when you jump into a relationship too quickly?
- You become immediately emotionally attached to someone that you don’t know very well.
- You run the risk of the relationship breaking off earlier than expected because you find out you really weren’t all that compatible.
- You’re setting yourself up for unnecessary heartbreak.
We learned that it’s quite easy to avoid ever getting involved with someone that is desperate to get married. All you have to do is never contact this type of person online. The following dating tips for single parents will show you how to instantly identify someone not worth getting to know…
5 Profile Warning Signs They Are Desperate for Marriage
I’m only interested in meeting someone that is looking for marriage”
This one is a major red flag. Marriage doesn’t happen overnight, unless you go Hangover-style and someone slips a Roofie in your drink while you’re on a Bachelor Party in Las Vegas. It’s okay to say things such as, “I’d love to get married someday”, but that’s the extent of it. Anything more seems a bit desperate.
I tend to fall in love easily”
This is a sure-fire sign this person is going to become attached quickly. And someone that gets attached easily will likely start talking about long-term commitments way too early. This type of quote is generally in female’s profile, but we’ve even seen a few men with similar quotes.
My kids are looking for a daddy/mommy”
Uh-oh! You’re in for a real treat when you start dating this person. And by “treat”, we mean a royal pain in the butt. He/she probably doesn’t care much about you. As long as you know how to take care of kids, you’re okay in their books. While we do agree that a single parent should only date someone that is good with kids, that shouldn’t be the only quality they look for in a partner.
I’m looking for someone to be the father of my child”
This one irritates us. You shouldn’t be out looking for a father/mother for your kids. That should be part of the package deal. When you sign-up for an online dating site, the focus should be on you and finding someone right for YOU. Yes, part of Mr./Mrs. Right is someone that treats your kids well, but you should be most important to them.
I’m not going to lie, I’m desperate to fall in love”
Remember what we said about emotional train wreck’s above? If you refuse to follow any of our other single parents dating tips, at least pay attention to this one (though you should pay attention to all of them). You will most definitely come across some very negative people online. Avoid them at all costs. They’ll fall hard for the first person they meet and will likely start talking about marriage very early on.